2016 and My Relationship with the Human Sexuality Report

In 2016 I was a delegate to CRC Synod. I had only been an Elder for less than a year; a Christian for 16 years and frankly I had no idea what I was doing.   I was only selected for Synod because no one else put their name forward so my husband (via text) message said to do it. 

Looking back at that Synod, I can say I learned a lot.  Being a Canadian, I didn't understand what was going on parliamentary (watching numerous American Congress/Senate hearings, I now understand). I was naïve.  I had hope that good things would come. I will admit that I did have a lot of fun.  I was the Canadian Bible Study (underhanded understanding of going for drinks after session) Queen, with my own 5 minute sermon on the Jesus being a good son (one day I'll type that out). I made friends and I watched. 

I watched as men from Classis Minnkota stood up on the first day and declared that women should not be delegates.  I watched as 2 African American women from Classis Hackensack shared their stores of what it was like growing up Black in the United States.  I watched as Pastors word smith already written forms of liturgy in committee because they didn't get a chance to do it before Synod. I watched as we debated the Document of Discovery and started the journey of reconciliation with our Indigenous brothers and sisters. I watched as Pastors sermonized (constantly) during deliberations when speaking to motions. I watched and I learned.

I learned that Synod is not perfect as we are all not perfect. I learned that there seemed to be a underlying of conservatism pushing at orthodox theology at that time (which finally reared it's ugly head this year). I learned that I have a voice and that an outcome may not go my way but I can speak.

Before I write about this year's synod, I need to repent of 2016.  I am sorry that I did not truly understand the weight of the Human Sexuality Report and did not understand the true implications that we now face.  In my naivety, I felt that we would have a report that would be for pastoral care which since 1973 we have not.  I am sorry that my actions have hurt so many now, including myself.

I have read all 176 pages of the HSR.  I have debated it with people. I have even entered into a letter condemning Section D (I couldn't remember asking for that) as part of the Calgary Campus Chaplaincy Committee.

Before the full report was released, I went over the draft with a small group from my church at the same time learning Grace/Truth from Preston Sprinkles.  I wanted to listen and learn.  I wrested with traditional marriage and same sex marriage as it pertained to scripture. I still do but I that is my personal journey that I do not impose on anyone, including people who are same sex attracted in marriage. I knew something more conservative was going to come down just based on the draft but what we got was a gong show.

On November 1 2021, I saw on twitter that it had been released and already people were not happy.  I then was notified that we would be discussing in Committee so I downloaded it and started reading and highlighting. I was astonished. The only part of the HSR that I enjoyed was the section on pornography. It was well written and looked like people had put in the time to do their research that did not seem apparent in any other section.  The "samples" they listed seemed to be badly written fiction.  I mean not every feminist is a lesbian and not every lesbian is a feminist but to label someone as a feminist lesbian seemed trite and badly written. I could go on with the examples given but I won't. In full disclosure I read them out loud to my best friend in the voice of a back cover of a badly written romance because that is how they sounded. 

This was what they spent 5 years writing. My daughter writes better papers for her liberal arts classes as a first year student. I was despondent and upset. When the leadership of our church was talking about reading this I asked that they think about the kids in our congregation and their friends who identified as LGBTQ.

What I got from leadership was an Overture that said how great the HSR was and that anyone who was against it was a "false teacher or prophet" I was not surprised as during Covid my church was making some very orthodox and legalistic ideologies and communicated this.  I did ask if I was a "false prophet and teacher" and was informed that that was only for ordained Officers or Pastors. But I was a leader for Women Studies and I had been an Elder.  In fact, our Pastor wanted us to think of our ordination of Elders to be like the PCA in that it was for a lifetime, but now that was not what was being practiced or preached.

I attended the following Classis as a guest and scribe as we were going to be doing mini session discussions with the delegates. Prior to that Kathy Smith and Mary Lou Bouma both had Q&As for about 15 minutes each. Delegates were rude and spoke during Kathy's Q&A but listened and were respectful for Mary's. The discussions were.....while frankly they were a joke as the host church refused to have a volunteer from another church that knew Zoom well be the technician. It had been decided ahead of time not to discuss committee reports but then they ask for the Chaplain's report and then all of the sudden we as a committee were being attacked because of our view of the HSR which wasn't even adopted yet. One senior very conservative Elder actually used the phrase "this looks like a witch hunt".

We as a committee spent the next months trying to deal with it and a subsequent Overture that was eventually defeated.  Personally, it was the last straw with my church and I had no alternative but to leave (there were other reasons). 

That leaves me with Synod 2022 and what happened with this document that I voted on in 2016.  Again I am sorry.  However, I have taken the position that this is not over.  It took over 30 years for women to have rights in the CRC and I believe the same thing will happen with this. I am praying that God be with my LGBTQ brothers and sisters of the faith.  Covering them and advocates with protection. I pray that God's will be done.  Not because I want to be right but because I have been called to advocate and fight for those with no voice. I have a voice.  I have a vote and I will use it to do what the Holy Spirit guides me to.